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March 16th, 2022

Realistic Magicalism Is The Real Deal So Deal With It

What is realistic magicalism?

It’s reality at its finest. That’s what it is. It’s the beauty and mystery of a moment, of instances. Of existence. It’s the realization that we are living, breathing, creating realities. Conjuring experiences. Articulating abstractions plucked from the ethereal world of our imaginations. It’s a perception, seeing and taking in the natural wonders of the Earth (Like Pablo Ramirez, a skateboarder from San Francisco, who would say, “How amazing is it that we get to see the sky change colors twice a day” such was his perception of reality, or Gusto who always told me “We get to, not have to”).

It’s the succinct rhythm of being (Some call it synchronicity). It’s recognizing the congruency of choice and the harmonies of chaos. It’s a becoming and an already is.

It’s what happens when we look at Life dead on, paying attention to details, to the breadcrumbs that seem to point us towards the direction we’re headed, approving our destination. It’s the glimmer captured out of the corner of an eye (A Mooney if you will). It’s the magic in the mundane (Everything all the time, the good, the bad, the things that make us think or cry or bang our heads against the wall). It’s this, and it’s the best damn thing that’s ever happened.

It started with a girl (What better way to grab the attention of a teenager whose loins are filled with baby lotion). I’m fourteen, sitting at a table at my neighborhood pool after school (Why I don’t know). I’m alone, thinking about a blonde curly-haired cheerleader I had recently asked to the Home Coming dance. Suddenly, as I sat there, I came to the realization that if I walked to Jack In The Box at that very moment (Which was no more than a quarter of a mile from where I sat) she would be there. I knew it whole-heartedly. It was a strange feeling. Almost like I’d channeled something. Inspired by the direct jolt of this epiphany I got up and marched down the hill. When I arrived, much to my surprise, she wasn’t there. I was disappointed. I felt foolish. So I bought a chicken sandwich and took a seat. That was that.

I was stupid to believe something beautiful like that could happen in real life. I told myself this right as I was about to take a bite. Then I looked up and there she was, walking through the door.

It was like a movie scene. Or a dream. I was frightened and excited at the same time. My heart raced. I started sweating. She didn’t notice me right away but when she did she came over and sat with me. Asked questions. Talked about class. About the dance. I must’ve looked like I’d seen a ghost. If she noticed I was acting funny she never said a word. Then she left. Afterward I tried make sense of what happened. What had occurred. What it meant. I never told her either. I only let the instance pass and then held on to it like a secret gem I hid away so that I could take it out and look at it from time to time.

Moments like this have occurred a number of times in my life. Probably more than I’ve been aware of as it’s easy to become fogged by everyday life. Bogged down by drinking or smoking or losing a clear sight of the path we want for ourselves. Sometimes the weight of a job, traumas, bills, relationships become too much and narrow our perceptions. Make it more difficult to see the forest from the trees. Be swept up by grace.

It’s easy to be distracted by the screens in our hands, on the walls of our homes, at work. We become followers of a false light.

But the writings on the wall I did recognize presented themselves in a way that were unmistakably clear. They acted as guides. Like cairns on a hiking trail they showed me the way. They showed me where answers could be found. And so far they haven’t done me wrong. In fact, they’ve been right on.

Keep your eyes wide and your nose off the ground. There’s something happening here. And if you don’t pay attention, you’ll miss it.



April 6th, 2022

Holy Moments Found In Everyday Life In Omaha

What if days weren’t measured by productivity but by the accumulation of instances we are enraptured within them, like holy lucid moments with the notion that everything connected is set apart for that union…


March 30th, 2022

Meditations During An Existential Emergency In A Midwest Cafe

At Lola’s. Again. Staring out at Dodge and the cars passing like metallic streams of green and grey and red, streams of blue white and black. They pass and disappear past the glass…


March 23rd, 2022

In And Out And Upside-Down It’s All A Mess No Matter What

I was not. And then I was. Birthed out of nothing. A thing of two become one bathed in milky cream from the womb of my mother. Eyes lolling in my head. The tongue a loosed agent like a blind serpent on the head of a gorgon. Wailing into the light…



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